How to Know When to Move in with Your S/O
How to Know If You’re Ready to Move In With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
It seems every lease-end for the last few years, it crosses my mind whether or not it is time to take the plunge and move in with my boyfriend.
Here’s why: It’s too dang convenient. When you spend a ton of time with your man (or woman) and it pretty much feels like you live together anyway, it may seem like the natural next step. Plus, when renting a 1 bedroom it’s VERY tempting to figure out how much money you could save by splitting 2 ways.
Me and Brandon waited 3 (very long) years to finally decide to have our worlds collide! And even though at times I threw a fit wondering why on Earth we should wait, I’m very glad we did. Here are a few reasons that made us realize the time was right this year, instead of all the years before.
- We know each other VERY well. And I don’t mean we’ve been texting religiously all day and all night. I mean I know how he acts when he’s mad, happy, and sad. I know that when he needs a guys day he will subtly drop hints because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I also know when he wants to spend some quality time and cuddle on the couch because he’ll offer to cook and give sporadic head kisses every 5 minutes. There are certain queues that are part of our communication that we may not have been able to pick up on if we hadn’t been through some life challenges together already. Things that I’m happy we experienced before we move in.
- We respect each others daily routines. Do you ever sit around and daydream about waking up and making pancakes and coffee and enjoying your significant other before the day gets started? I did. But guess what? Brandon hates coffee. There are other things that are important to him that he does to get his day started, but if my expectation is something totally out of character for him, I’d be setting myself up for disappointment that is entirely my own fault. Maybe your boyfriend goes to the gym, takes a morning walk, loves to sleep until 11AM, etc. Just like having a peaceful breakfast and your extremely necessary cup of coffee may be important to you. Having differences is fine, having unrealistic expectations can cause problems.
- Conflict resolution. Conflict resolution. Conflict resolution. The big bambino. If I’ve learned one lesson the hard way it is that while every couple may argue, not every couple can argue with respect. Make sure this box is CHECKED before you move in. Getting through a disagreement together comes easy for some couples, but sometimes it’s HARD. (Especially if you’re like me and have some very strong opinions). You never want to feel unsafe in your own home. If arguments tend to escalate and there isn’t a way to solve it maturely, then signing a lease for a locked in amount of time isn’t wise. You want home to feel happy, safe, and welcoming<3 If thats not the case… huge red flag!
- Possibly the best reason of all, I had time to create my own life. One of the things I’m the most thankful for in life was having my own spaces, my own routines, goals, and intentions. I knew what I needed to support my mental and physical health, and was able to be independent on my own. If I never had that opportunity I wouldn’t have the same sense of self, and self-respect, and self-love I have today. I know that if anything were to go south, I can stand on my own two feet and support myself regardless. As much as I want my S/O to be his best self, I want to bring that to the table for him as well.
Of course, every relationship is different, and time doesn’t mean everything. Every couple is on their own path and guess what, there are no rules!! If it feels right, it just may be. But remember to listen to your gut when it feels wrong too. Having a grasp on these 4 things will be a huge leg up to setting yourself up for success in your relationship, no matter the timeline.
Kel