The 6 Most Impactful Lessons I Learned In My Twenties
Lessons I Learned In My Twenties
Hello friends! This past Sunday I had my thirtieth birthday, and I’ve never been more excited about a birthday. Something feels very “level up” about entering a new decade, and while I’m over here feeling old and wise, I thought I would share some of the most impactful lessons I learned in my twenties. Consider it as advice to my younger self.
The underlying message, after pouring out my heart and reading it back, is that you need to love yourself. Strive to be good, kind, better than yesterday. Enjoy the ride! Your twenties are about finding out who you are and loving the crap out of that person. Try new things, live a little! It goes fast.
Advice to My Younger Self
Lessons I Learned in My 20’s
- Don’t listen to what anyone says. Not your parents or your friends. Do whatever you want and listen to yourself. Your twenties are about learning who you are. You have to learn to listen to what your gut has to say, it’s probably right. While others may mean well, they are seeing you through their eyes. They may not know your heart the same way that you do. Don’t doubt yourself when you feel that intuition, learn from it and chase it. There are people who love you for who you are, and if you stay true to yourself, those people will find you and stay.
- Love yourself and the body you get to live in. Strive for health, whatever that looks like for you. When you are in your twenties there is immense pressure to “glow up” and look a certain way. Just love yourself, as is. Again, strive for health. No matter what you look like, be as active as you can. Eat as healthy as you can. Stretch, breath, bend, laugh, cry. DO the living! So much goes into taking care of you. Romanticize it! Turns out I require a decent amount of at-home spa days. I also need to take walks to clear my head. My life is better with a minimum of 2 cups of coffee per day. A day in the sun is good for my spirit. Yoga transforms my soul. It took a lot of living and doing to learn how to love myself properly. Take note of what makes you feel alive and always do more of it. I promise it won’t be the Botox, the boob job, or the $200 skincare routine that will make you feel more confident. It’s just being more you.
- Learn to move on from what no longer serves you. This is a tough one to learn. It hurts to learn, but you will learn it. Whether it be friendships, relationships, jobs, WHATEVER! If it doesn’t bring you closer to your goal, or bring you peace or joy, then you don’t need it. Have a journaling day and write out what you feel ready to let go of, the feeling you are ready to let go of. Then, write what you want to welcome. How do you want to feel? What do you look like when you are really happy? What are you doing? Who are you? When something or someone (even yourself) gets in your way of growth, that’s when you know it’s time to part ways. Those that understand your heart will allow you grace to move forward, or separately.
4. Stop planning! It never happens the way you think. Live with a loose grip. Not to say that you shouldn’t dream big and have goals. Totally do those things. However, the path to get there is up in the air. It’s the entire point of life. It IS life. Yes, I’m hitting you with “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” But this is the epitome of a lesson you learn in your twenties. You don’t know what you need to go through in order to get where you want to be. You have to learn new things, get uncomfortable, push yourself, rest when needed, and take a deep breath. It will all happen, in time. If you can enjoy the ride, no matter how messy, you will be just fine.
5. You have to fail to succeed. You have to fail to succeed. YOU HAVE TO FAIL TO SUCCEED. I’m repeating this one for me, because of all the lessons I learned in my twenties, this is the one that I’ve felt the hardest, especially in my late 20s. You know how there are a zillion quotes plastered on social media, and some of them just make you roll your eyes and say “well, duh.” Once you go through something that makes those quotes hit different, you’ll understand.
It’s the concept of failing forward.
I mean it when I say I have hesitations before I post almost anything to any social platform. No, it’s not because I’m not confident in what I’ve written or created. It’s because in the process of doing my best, I’ve learned something new that takes me and my work, even further. I could redo everything I’ve ever put out, over and over, and it would be better and better each time. And that feels good.
It feels good to learn and come out on the other side. I have to fall on my face or struggle through learning what process works the best. I don’t care if it’s your career, your schoolwork, learning to maintain your own place, maintaining friendships, creating your routine, WHATEVER. Before you can succeed you have to fail. Then learn. Then try again. Forever. One of the most satisfying lessons I learned in my twenties.
6. Care about people, care about being kind. It matters more than you think. People will not remember what you said or did, they remember how you make them feel. As cheesy as that sounds, the days of “not giving a F%^&” are over. Everyone has something that they are going through. Chances are, they are thinking less about you and more about what’s going on in their own life. Their choices are a reflection of that. What are you reflecting back on to others? Choose kind.